I was so angry. I called my mum and ranted to her and saying how horrible Ben was, how he was cheating on Carla and how she had turned on me. I even told her about the perfumed strut he'd do around the house before and after he cheated on Carla. To that, my mum said, "He's just an idiot, sweetheart. People are like that. You should piss in his perfume — that would teach him eh?" Of course my sweet old mum was just saying this as a joke to make me laugh.

the more I thought about it, the better an idea it seemed.