Love Caffeine? Try Weasel Puke Coffee Or Monkey Picked Tea
December 21st 2008 03:20
I know I speak for everybody when I say the best drinks are the easiest and tallest drinks... Yeah, that doesn't even any make sense, i'm drunk. Anyway, Straight from somewhere far away and specifically undisclosed comes a new type of coffee and tea, as not to discriminate by having one or the other, i'm bringing both tea and coffee, straight up, take that, i'm beverage neutral!
Monkey Picked Tea:
Nowadays the practice of monkeys picking tea has all but died out, except in one small remote village where they still continue this remarkable tradition. No monkeys are harmed or mistreated in order for us to bring this rare brew to you!
The tea is picked by monkeys as apparently they're able to pick the best leaves where people can not reach. Sounds great, I want parasite infested monekys with poo on their fingers to handle my tea too!
Weasel Puke Coffee:
There's a little animal in Vietnam which has magical properties. Locally, it's called a weasel (though technically, it's a type of civet, but let's call it a weasel like the locals) and it sure likes to eat the fruit of the coffee plant. But the seeds don't sit well in its tummy, so it vomits them up. And that's where the fun comes in - for local coffee folks gather up the beans and lightly roast them. The stomach acids seem to wear away the bitter taste of the coffee beans, and the resulting coffee is delicious and smooth.
Well I really think that speaks for itself.
I give these 9 out of 10 Heaps goods. Yeah, I think these are totally the way to go, if potentially catching ebola is totally your thing? I think i'll just stick to the usual way I have my coffee; coffee mug, hold the milk, hold the coffee, rest to the top with vodka.
(P.S. I hope you all like the effort I went into with the picture, I cut and pasted both products together. Thank you Bachelor of Arts Degree, dad was wrong you've really equipped me for life)
GET MONKEY PICKED TEA
GET WEASEL PUKE COFFEE
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