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Maple Phone is the creation of two designers who have won silver design 2008 awards. This basically mean they are pretty good at designing shit but not as good as the people who won gold awards.
To me, it looks like they were going down the creative ideas path for this phone, took a wrong turn, completely fu*ked it up and killed everyone in the hypothetical creative ideas car.
The phone does all the usual handset functions as well as the wood having special touch sensitive buttons to "make the wood come to life" - Oh please, the wood already had one shot at life, remember, before you douches chopped it up to turn it into a phone?
The main drive for making phones out of wood is their high recyclability and the overall lower cost of producing wooden phones.
I give this phone 4 out of 10 heaps goods. Who do these designers think they are, Apple? They can't just put a crappy 2MP camera in a doge ass phone and say it's touch sensitive and make people want it. Only Apple can pull that shit off.
Infact if my girl friend gave me this phone as a gift I'd be like "ahw... geez thanks, Tracey. Now get your shit and get out, I'm leaving you". Then I'd burn her tree down because I'd presume she'd have to be a hippy to want to give a gift like this.
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One thing I know is that you should never let predator type animals go too long with out food. I also now know you should feed your very large python often, unless you want it to escape in your house and never see it again. Three cats and one grandma later, I've learnt my lesson the hard way. Anyway, in China, amazingly a captured eagle being fed a baby rabbit ended up befriending the youngester instead:
Initially meant to be food for the young eagle, the rabbit was tossed into a Chinese professional eagle trainer’s cage, but the eagle was too young and ended up befriending the rabbit instead of eating it.
Apparently the rabbit cleans the eagle's feathers (read: is the eagle's bitch) and they are very friendly with each other.
I give this 7.9 out of 10 heaps goods. I hope they fall in love and end up having flying rabbit babies with beaks, I want one of those heaps bad!
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Well, sorry about bing MIA (missing in action), over the past few days. I've been lined up out the front of a telephone store waiting for the pinicle of my life, iPhone. I have eaten tuna out of a can for a week straight and slepted on the cold concrete street also fighting a few bums just to keep my mind active. I have however, procured my own iPhone!!! and straight up is an indepth review:
I love it.
I love it.
I love it. I wan't to change my surname to iPhone.
I give it 10 out of 10 heaps goods. It's so hot right now; also, I was on tv.
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Well, lucky little old Berlin got their very own Madame Tussauds. I think it's an awesome place to visit and get as close as you can to real life fake celebrities! However, this week they get my inaugural and final douche bag award for their efforts. Ever thought Berlin was over the whole slightly sensitive Hitler thing? Well guess again and when I say guess again, I mean you Madame Tussauds. Within moments of the grand opening of Madame Tussauds Berlin, the Hitler figure had been decapitated by the second visitor.
The 41-year-old Berlin man, the second visitor on the opening day of the museum, jumped over a rope that was meant to prevent viewers from getting close to the sculpture and ripped the head off the likeness of the Nazi leader, police spokesman Bernhard Schodrowski said. A museum employee was slightly injured in the incident
I give this 10 out of 10 Heaps Goods, file this one in the douche category. Oh I think they totally disserved what they got with their insensitivity. However, if anyone so much as touches the Britney Spears wax model, I'll be down there in a flash showing my insensitivy when I break my leg off in the offenders ass.
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I love fish. And by that I mean, I love to eat them. Actually, That's a lie. I hate fish, they taste like the stinkin' beach and they poo where they eat.
Anyway, in a backyard in Seoul, Korea. Carp and leather carp have produced this perculiar hybrid fish that have a human-face. Say what? yes, you heard right, a human face! and for a limited time only, I'll swear I wont talk like im selling you anything ever again, absolutely free...!!!
The home owners said:
"their faces have begun to look more and more human over the last couple of years." I can only presume they're still talking about the fish?
I give this 9 out of 10 Heaps Goods. Not becuase they are fish and not even becuase they are hybrid, but because I can, 'cause write the articles, ha! God I need a real job...
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At university, I recall a professor of mine explicitly saying,"Never do Oxygen, it's a poison, it WILL kill you". I don't know, but considering he was a doctor, you'd think he was pretty legit and wouldn't make that shit up. Anyway whipped up for your own home convenience, is a device to deliever lots of oxygen to help get you stoned off your ass, or healthy, or dead, or whatever the hell it's supposed to do...
The site from the link above sells it for $299.99 Canadian dollars, which I think by my calculations is roughly about $1.25 US. Well, that sounds like 25 cents too much really, if it was $1, then they'd have a deal on their hands!
I give it 4 out of 10. Heaps Goods. I am sure it can't raise your oxygen content enough to give you brain damage though, becuase I presume it's only blowing boring old vapourised atomosphere up your snoz. Whatever though, it's your $299.99 Canadian dollars. I won't stop you, but if you do get one, can you get one for me too, please?
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When I say I need this thing, I mean, I really, really, need this thing. There's little tears of desperation and everything.
It's this totally awesome little money bank that is a face and it eats your coins. Like its little mouth moves while it chews up and swallows your coin and kinda looks like a monkey. I love it becuase it scares and captivates all at the same time.
I give this thing 8 out of 10 heaps goods. Although I already have a wife that eats all my money. I prefer the face bank becuase when I need the money back I can just get it back out of its ass. Which needless to say, isn't quite as possible with my wife...
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If there is one thing I hate more than McDonalds not selling brownies after 3 am, it's people peeking at my iPod on public transport. When I want to watch my PonyPals, I want to watch it in privacy and not have some hairy mole man breathing his fang breath all over my shoulder trying to see if star-sparkle pony gets her magic wand back, damn it!
Thankfully iStyles feels my pain and has come to the rescue with the privacy shield protector. Basically it's a film that goes over the screen which allows your iPod to be viewed only from the front and not from the sides. When viewed at an angle the iPod screen looks black.
I give this 10 out of 10 heaps goods. Awesome, I just bought three of them and I don't even know why!?!!?!?!
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I love my iPod and yes, I'd totally let it get in the way of my work (if I had a job). However, one place you'd hope it wouldn't get in the way of one's work would be your doctor. Some company has created a stethoscope with an iPod built in. Allegedly it would be used for recording sounds of heart beats to be uploaded to a computer database. I think it's actually so your doctor can be busting out Umbrella by Rhianna whilst telling you, "No Mrs. Jones, that's not a tumor, you're just fat". Why would he be using a stethoscope for that diagnosis? Because of course he went to medical school at Ricky Wong's upstairs basement of medicine.
I give this 4 out of 10 Heaps Goods. The idea of iPods in medical equipment scares me and I am going to start doing all my own surgery from now on. I have needed some work on my sore elbow and knee for a while. i've been studying so hard for this, I've even practiced on my 'operation' game. Gosh, let's just hope it's wishbone in the elbow and water bucket on knee.
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It seems that the animal kingdom is now churning out what's known as 'power animals'. This is basically just a flashy word i've made up to say that there are animals out there with jobs making more money than me. I wont player hate though becuase this time it's a chimp and that's pretty much a monkey and I [heart] those little thingys so much!!!
The 17-year-old ape, called Bobby, is being paid £70 a month in Radkow to plug a local beauty spot - and is already up for promotion.
He is taken around the region's capital Wroclaw with a sign on his back advertising the Table Mountains range and his job title of Bobby, Tourism Promotions Inspector, to inspire people to visit.
"If Bobby achieves good results he may be promoted to a post as a specialist. Then he'll be able to count on a pay rise," said his council boss Marek Niewiadomy.
I give this 5 out of 10 Heaps Goods because I am infact hating that chimp, so much right now. I don't know how I feel about power animals that are all too happy to handle their own poo. It's okay though, we'll see who's laughing when the chimp gets complacent and starts eating its own shit on the job.
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46 Posts dating from May 2008
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